"Movie 43" R
The old saying 'You didn't pay money for this' applies in the case of Movie 43, as the movie was free and not screened for real critics. This was to avoid to backlash of ridicule it was sure to get once anyone paying top price realized they had been fooled. An all star cast including Knoxville, Jackman, Moretz, Faris, Barry and a host of others cameos are clumped together in a series of comic sketches where some of the jokes almost work, but none of them actually do. The trouble with humor these days is the same with horror, startling or shocking reigns over actual laughs or chills. Had the writers, which included Seth McFarlane, been thinking, they would have rewritten it from the start into a surreal romantic comedy parody ala Jackass meets Blind Date. It could have been brilliant in the right hands. Unfortunately, it was a tad closer to Date Movie meets Dumb and Dumber. Sean Scott and Knoxville beat up a leprechaun in one sketch. Chloe Moretz uses her comic timing in an unexpectedly gross way. Some bigwigs try to sell a faulty music playing naked robot lady. A guy with testicles on his chin goes on a date. A British guy and Halley Berry gross each other out on a truth or dare date. Another date involves super heroes, which was done way better on Robot Chicken a few years ago. A third date involves scat humor and a spume of fake dookey. Then there is a sketch they saved for last involving a cartoon cat spoofing Garfield a decade too late. The wrap around involves a hack writer trying to sell his story to Hollywood, ala the Player, twenty years too late.
In a commentary on humor, Ivan Reitman said something like drama is extraordinary things happening to normal people, and comedy is ordinary things happening to extraordinary people. This means that timing is everything and humor and being funny is not easy. Steve Martin one said, 'comedy is not pretty', and more modern Dave Chapelle said, 'sometimes a turd is just a turd and it isn't funny whatever you do'. They got a whole cast of A list and B list actors and it turns out some of them are funny, but most of them have crappy material to work with, a script that clearly isn't funny, just shocking, and wasn't even worked over by anyone funny. It would have been interesting had McFarlane or Jonze rewrite it to make it funny. I think I would have taken in in the direction Blind Date meets Jackass and made it about Knoxville and Faris the entire time, and their neighbors who are all insane, sort of American Pie meets National Lampoons from back in the day. They just needed to be funny. Subtle humor seems to be alien to the new set of stars.
The sketches go way on too long and some just don't work at all. The guy with the nuts on his chin, Jackman, and the joke is nobody else notices he has nuts strapped to his chin but his date. No delivery. You take a joke like that and you don't deliver a money shot? That's obvious. But they didn't go there. Literally.
The leprechaun one kind of worked but was a little too mean spirited, as was the cat one during the end part. You have to make a joke, not just beat the crap out of something because you don't have a joke.
The truth or dare one squanders the potential of it by having flash forward to the two of them undergoing funny plastic surgery or getting a tatoo of a dick, which is not funny, and not even particularly gross. It's just wrong. Besides, Hangover 2 had a better tattoo gag, It should have ended with the butt grab and escalated in the bar only ending with maybe a cameo by Bill Murray or something cracking a joke.
The checkstand joke didn't have a delivery either. The joke is that the emo kid runs off after his girlfriend and we don't know what happens next? If you're going to spoof something like a Michael Cera movie, at least have it end with them hooking up in a slobbery wet ridiculously over the top kiss under a street light. They didn't go there. They just dropped the ball.
The basketball sketch was really dumb. Okay, you're spoofing Hoosiers and stuff and you make a dick joke. That's it. Dick joke. Great. You didn't show the dick. Why not? You had a guy with balls on his neck. Show a big fake floppy dick dribbling a basketball. At least that's what they would have done in classics like Porky's.
The boy being home schooled by the parents from Hell could have been good bu they blew it there too and had it end with him turning insane and having a date with something weird. It's like, that's the joke. No punchline. He just is nuts. Woo hoo.
The period sketch went too angry in the end. It should have ended with a shower of unmentionable stuff and then that's the ending, just to be gross.
The poo one was just wrong and they almost did it right but ultimately squandered the joke on it ending with shock and awe not with laughs. Poo is only funny to people with the maturity of a 9 year old boy, but somehow in Jackass 3 they made it hilarious. They had Knoxville and coukld have asked him how to make it funny. He might have replied. 'Do it with a fountain if poo instead of a splattering of poo because a gusher is hella funny.'
This movie was horrible, but because it was free, I didn't have to waste more than time. Probably not worth a rental.
Jackman with balls on his neck. Racist jokes. Gun jokes. Producer jokes. This was all done better before in other movies.
After seeing this travesty, you might rent the original The Producers, or Caddyshack, or even Blind Date.
I could see where they were going by they just didn't do it. They didn't deliver the laughs or the goods. (Except for Chloe. So wrong, kid. So wrong).
Review by Adam Browne
Friday, January 25, 2013
Friday, January 11, 2013
Review: "Zero Dark Thirty" is grim terse drama about hunt for Bin Laden
"Zero Dark Thirty" R
Katherine Bigalowe (The Hurt Locker) returns with another September 11 inspired drama with some thriller elements, this one called Zero Dark Thirty, after 30 minutes passed midnight, the alleged time that Navy Seal Team Six decimated Osama Bin Laden's house and killed him in 2011. Oirignally, the movie was changed when Osama was captured and killed. The movie would have been the fruitless efforts to never find him, had it been the original premise. It also would have shown more obviously that forced interrogations and torture don't work. One of the criticisms of the film, and the reason it may be snubbed come Oscar time, are scenes of torture which seem to imply that it works and the CIA was able to get info and intel from the interrogations. Actually having just seen it, and had the critics also seen it, they would have realized that the torture scenes don't work and they're forces to rely on the Mary Sue like CIA director lady who controls the story, as it is based on true events but isn't really true. The CIA lady an an archetype and a conglomeration of several key people, not just one lady, although it's inferred she has a lot of support. The Seals are actually never called 'Team Six' in the film, interestingly enough, and sport beards and don't talk the lingo common in war movies. Not one 'Hurah'? But there is a joke. At one point they are flying in a chopper toward the target one the leader jokes, 'how many of you have been in a heli (helicopter) crash?' to which most of them raise a finger. Even so, the story is not an action picture but is a drama with a lot of odd close calls until the last half hour. which apparently is the raid and the new footage they shot later when they caught Bin Laden. The film doesn't advoate torture as the torture doesn't work. They get the informant's name from other means, mostly by paying off some sheik dude and from some other backroom dealing.
Review by Kal Kat
Katherine Bigalowe (The Hurt Locker) returns with another September 11 inspired drama with some thriller elements, this one called Zero Dark Thirty, after 30 minutes passed midnight, the alleged time that Navy Seal Team Six decimated Osama Bin Laden's house and killed him in 2011. Oirignally, the movie was changed when Osama was captured and killed. The movie would have been the fruitless efforts to never find him, had it been the original premise. It also would have shown more obviously that forced interrogations and torture don't work. One of the criticisms of the film, and the reason it may be snubbed come Oscar time, are scenes of torture which seem to imply that it works and the CIA was able to get info and intel from the interrogations. Actually having just seen it, and had the critics also seen it, they would have realized that the torture scenes don't work and they're forces to rely on the Mary Sue like CIA director lady who controls the story, as it is based on true events but isn't really true. The CIA lady an an archetype and a conglomeration of several key people, not just one lady, although it's inferred she has a lot of support. The Seals are actually never called 'Team Six' in the film, interestingly enough, and sport beards and don't talk the lingo common in war movies. Not one 'Hurah'? But there is a joke. At one point they are flying in a chopper toward the target one the leader jokes, 'how many of you have been in a heli (helicopter) crash?' to which most of them raise a finger. Even so, the story is not an action picture but is a drama with a lot of odd close calls until the last half hour. which apparently is the raid and the new footage they shot later when they caught Bin Laden. The film doesn't advoate torture as the torture doesn't work. They get the informant's name from other means, mostly by paying off some sheik dude and from some other backroom dealing.
Review by Kal Kat
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
THE 2012 CLARA MOVIE AWARDS WINNERS
THE WINNERS! Your Clara cat posters are not available now.
Best Fantasy/Science Fiction
“Marvel’s The Avengers”
Nod to "The Hobbit an Unexpected Journey"
Best Animated Fantasy
“Wreck It Ralph”
Not to "Arietty"
Best Horror/Thriller
“Django Unchained”
Nod to "Cabin in the Woods"
Best Drama, Best Picture of the Year
“Les Miserables”
Nods to The Wallflower, Argo
Best Comedy
“21 Jump Street the Movie”
Nod to "Django Unchained"
Best Director Nods
Peter Jackson, "The Hobbit an Unexpected Journey"
Chris Nolan, "The Dark Knight Rises"
Joss Whedon, "The Cain in the Woods"
Ben Affleck, "Argo"
Worst Fantasy/Science Fiction
“Prometheus”
Worst Animated
“The Lorax”
Worst Horror
“The Woman in Black”
Worst Comedy
“The Dictator”
Worst Drama
“Courageous”
Favorites to win are in red.
Best Fantasy Director
Pater Jackson, The Hobbit An
Unexpected Journey
Best Drama Director
Tom Hooper, Les Miserables
Best Thriller Director
Quentin Tarantino, Django
Nod to Ang Lee, "Life of Pi"
Visual Effects Achievement: the Tiger in Life of Pi, the 48 frames mode in the Hobbit, the visuals in Dark Knight Rises, the living carnivorous island in"Life of Pi".
Fun goof ups: "Argo", the Ewoks in 1979, long before the Jedi movie in 1983, the 2003 watch, the 1982 touchtone phone, etc.
"The Dark Knight Rises", how did Bruce Wayne get back to New York, which was slammed shut by the terrorists, without help after climbing out of the pit?
"Prometheus", All of it kind of sucked.
Nod to Ang Lee, "Life of Pi"
Visual Effects Achievement: the Tiger in Life of Pi, the 48 frames mode in the Hobbit, the visuals in Dark Knight Rises, the living carnivorous island in"Life of Pi".
Fun goof ups: "Argo", the Ewoks in 1979, long before the Jedi movie in 1983, the 2003 watch, the 1982 touchtone phone, etc.
"The Dark Knight Rises", how did Bruce Wayne get back to New York, which was slammed shut by the terrorists, without help after climbing out of the pit?
"Prometheus", All of it kind of sucked.
Review: "Les Miserables" brings the final great musical movie of 2012
"Les Miserables" PG-13
The story of escaped convict Jean Valjean and his pursuer, Javert, and his love for a commoner, and her daughter, is made into a soaring musical epic. Set in revolutionary France between 1815 and 1832, the musical proves that both Jackman and Crowe can sing, and also that Hathaway is not bad either. It is based on the London adaptation of the Broadway play, the longest running in history. The Oscars might just give it a nod for best picture. That was the idea casting the leads, and surely including Broadway unknowns to Hollywood fame also added to the thing, meaning more new actors down the line.
The particular packed showing I saw (December 30) this included some choir and worship friends who had wanted to see it again together, and we scattered about in the audience. The only real issue was that due to the live performances the sound was not soaring bombastically as usual, so nervous chuckles from the row behind some of us could be heard audibly. Even so, this was not a fault of the movie.
Jean must run from Javeart for dozens of years, all through France, and he makes a new life fopr himself after a priest in an abbey gives him the silver he intends to steal, and then he meats Fontaine, a worker at the factory, and he has an interest in her story when she is cast out into the street. She has a daughter, Cossette, who is with two crooked innkeepers, and when she dies after a brutalizing, he takes the girl from the innkeepers and runs off to Paris.
Sasha Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter play the innkeepers, but are essentially playing themselves, or variations of characters they've spoofed, so it is type casting.
Eventally Cossette grows up and through chance and much opera, falls in love with a revolutionary named Monseir (I think), who is rescued by her adopted father, Jean, during a battle. Also Monseir has a friend who loves him so there is a triangle.
A good adaptation of the Victor Hugo Broadway play into a movie. Don't bother with the non musical version unless you're using it as a supplement.They have many versions to choose from.
Can a Hugo win the Oscar again? Find out in March 2013.
Review by Adam Browne
The story of escaped convict Jean Valjean and his pursuer, Javert, and his love for a commoner, and her daughter, is made into a soaring musical epic. Set in revolutionary France between 1815 and 1832, the musical proves that both Jackman and Crowe can sing, and also that Hathaway is not bad either. It is based on the London adaptation of the Broadway play, the longest running in history. The Oscars might just give it a nod for best picture. That was the idea casting the leads, and surely including Broadway unknowns to Hollywood fame also added to the thing, meaning more new actors down the line.
The particular packed showing I saw (December 30) this included some choir and worship friends who had wanted to see it again together, and we scattered about in the audience. The only real issue was that due to the live performances the sound was not soaring bombastically as usual, so nervous chuckles from the row behind some of us could be heard audibly. Even so, this was not a fault of the movie.
Jean must run from Javeart for dozens of years, all through France, and he makes a new life fopr himself after a priest in an abbey gives him the silver he intends to steal, and then he meats Fontaine, a worker at the factory, and he has an interest in her story when she is cast out into the street. She has a daughter, Cossette, who is with two crooked innkeepers, and when she dies after a brutalizing, he takes the girl from the innkeepers and runs off to Paris.
Sasha Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter play the innkeepers, but are essentially playing themselves, or variations of characters they've spoofed, so it is type casting.
Eventally Cossette grows up and through chance and much opera, falls in love with a revolutionary named Monseir (I think), who is rescued by her adopted father, Jean, during a battle. Also Monseir has a friend who loves him so there is a triangle.
A good adaptation of the Victor Hugo Broadway play into a movie. Don't bother with the non musical version unless you're using it as a supplement.They have many versions to choose from.
Can a Hugo win the Oscar again? Find out in March 2013.
Review by Adam Browne
Review: "Django Unchained" is slick and strange splatter western
"Django Unchained" R
Quentin Tarantino usually has a flair for remaking kung fu movies or propeganda films, so tackling Italian robber gunslinger movies seemed kind of his thing. Fortunately, someone did tell him to make it linear, unlike some of his other works, such as Pulp Fiction. The story diverges hard from the Italian gunslinger movie, which itself was a spoof of spaghetti westerns of America, and of the Three Musketeers, and ventures into the cruel demented realm of pre-Civil War America, circa 1862.
On a midnight road bound for a slave auction, a slaver and several sweating chained up men run into a traveling dentist who is not what he seems, but is in fact a gun for hire, a bounty hunter, who plans to buy one of the men, Django, a mysterious tall black man, among the others. The bounty hunter's plan goes abit south when the slaver refuses, so he shoots him dead and frees them all, taking Django as a free man, and giving him a new life as a hired gun.
The bounty hunters arrive in a town where the sheriff tracks them to the tavern and is killed, but when the constable shows up, they make up a story that he's a wanted man to be delivered to justice, dead or alive, but preferably dead. They use this at every town they visit, all across the west and into the south.Most of these elude to dozens of old westersn and spoofs and the killings are done with gory almost comical abandon.
Eventually Django tells the hunter of his lost wife, another slave, who lives on a plantation called Candyland, an infamous parody of something out of Gone with the Wind, but without Scarlett. The master of the house is a wily nutcase and his man servant, father figure, who happens to be one of the smartest of his slaves also. Eventually there is a major confrontation over getting the hired girl via lying about wanting to buy up a fighting man from him.
This movie is not to be taken seriously. It is a horror comedy which happens to deal with slavery and make it look like an archetype, but it's not. It appears they intended merely to be as offensive as possible. It is a far better movie than his remake of Inglorious Bastards. It is on a par with Reservior Dogs and Pulp Fiction.
Do not see it with small children. Do not see if it you're easily offended.
Review by Adam Browne
Quentin Tarantino usually has a flair for remaking kung fu movies or propeganda films, so tackling Italian robber gunslinger movies seemed kind of his thing. Fortunately, someone did tell him to make it linear, unlike some of his other works, such as Pulp Fiction. The story diverges hard from the Italian gunslinger movie, which itself was a spoof of spaghetti westerns of America, and of the Three Musketeers, and ventures into the cruel demented realm of pre-Civil War America, circa 1862.
On a midnight road bound for a slave auction, a slaver and several sweating chained up men run into a traveling dentist who is not what he seems, but is in fact a gun for hire, a bounty hunter, who plans to buy one of the men, Django, a mysterious tall black man, among the others. The bounty hunter's plan goes abit south when the slaver refuses, so he shoots him dead and frees them all, taking Django as a free man, and giving him a new life as a hired gun.
The bounty hunters arrive in a town where the sheriff tracks them to the tavern and is killed, but when the constable shows up, they make up a story that he's a wanted man to be delivered to justice, dead or alive, but preferably dead. They use this at every town they visit, all across the west and into the south.Most of these elude to dozens of old westersn and spoofs and the killings are done with gory almost comical abandon.
Eventually Django tells the hunter of his lost wife, another slave, who lives on a plantation called Candyland, an infamous parody of something out of Gone with the Wind, but without Scarlett. The master of the house is a wily nutcase and his man servant, father figure, who happens to be one of the smartest of his slaves also. Eventually there is a major confrontation over getting the hired girl via lying about wanting to buy up a fighting man from him.
This movie is not to be taken seriously. It is a horror comedy which happens to deal with slavery and make it look like an archetype, but it's not. It appears they intended merely to be as offensive as possible. It is a far better movie than his remake of Inglorious Bastards. It is on a par with Reservior Dogs and Pulp Fiction.
Do not see it with small children. Do not see if it you're easily offended.
Review by Adam Browne
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