"My Little Pony"
The 1986 movie that started it all, a series and toyline, and made Hasbro big for not only their other boy lines, but then for girls also. The movie is at times ridiculously cute. The little creature horses have developed a society where everything is great and cheery, run by girls, but villains from a volcano threaten to destroy it all. Ha. They are also all boys. This movie is not subtle. At times the villainy is actually too intense, like the villains in equally odd Care Bears from the same time period. But they have magic, so they also are like He Man, and later She Ra. The ponies must defeat the witch lady of the mountain and return peace and harmony to the village. This is also a little like the Smurfs. Kind of.
It came out the same year as Transformers 1986.
It spurred two sequel series in the 2000s, one of which survives today as My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic.
The cleverly rebranded update features a sassy cast that includes voice talent from Cartoon Network alumni and is on point, althoug never fully released onto DVD, not all complete seasons, but their spin off is out.
I am not a brony. I just know. I am not the target audience.
"My Little Pony: Equestria Girls"
Well, they have this show called Friendship is Magic, but the fan base of adult males is annoying, so the studio decided to really force the issue that it is for girls, so they made a show that appealed to nobody. They set the film in an alternate universe where the pony girls were Monster High uncanny looking horse faced girls in high school, because sure! Girls love that right?
Well it wasn't the Brony's, 20 to 40 year old males into a TV show meant for 8 to 14 year old girls, that did it, it was marketing mismanagement, that thought what girls want his post scarcity High School Musical and Glee rip off stuff with girls in school and angst. Yeah. No.
A toy line and some episodes proved to not sell too well, and they rebranded it a parallel story, and not really a change in the story. Uhu. Admit it Hasbro. That idea was stupid. It sits on shelves while the Friendship is Magic brand, a sassy reboot of the 1980s original, does not have any complete series DVD box sets.
Note that I am not a brony, but that one of the producers is.
Now comes the studio system deciding to actually do a follow up movie.
"My Little Pony: FIS"
The film starts off in the Pony version of the land from the show, where a similar concert or festival is happening, but this time the party crashers are in a storm ship, a floating blimp vessel like an evil Teddy Ruxpin ship. The pony girls, all of them are save for the guards, who are with the rock star horse, all must go on a quest to find the special ponies of another land and save them from the storm lady, who works for the male antagonist, the storm King.
Also the odd inclusion of the parrot pirates is clearly meant as some sort of copycat spin off series coming soon, with a matching toyline of shelf warming action figures, and a playset pirate ship. The ship was cool. Wouldn't mind having one. Ha.
It appears they are saying the stormy guys as\re like Bronys and thus suck and will ruin the movie because they will become dark and stormy, and emos are out too. Nice. It is an ironic plot point that the storm lady pony has a broken horn, and that is why she is mad, so all she needs are friends to help her over her disability. Als that she is clearly a G1 character you will get at the end.
The bait and switch of two groups of these fantasy horses changing into the other form is kind of silly, but it is aimed for children.
The storm lords are like something out of the same cloth as the volcano lords in the first, and could be intense for small children.
The sequel or update does immediately suffer from the cliche of, we don't trust our voice talent to carry this, so chuck in five or six actual names so it will sell. This is marketing madness. The reason equestria girls didn't sell wasn't the talent, but the story was stupid.
That said, a packed opening weekend with adults and children present made for a curious and well liked follow up, unlike the one about high school.
Some of the pejorative groupof bronys in one camp do actually like Equestria Girls, but it still sucks.
Wednesday, October 11, 2017
Blade Runner, Two Films, One Destiny
The classic 1982 original film Blade Runner is the pivotal neo noir, detective story meets cyber punk dramatic adventure film. Set in a dingy grey future of constant rain and grime, where a Los Angeles walled from the sea boils in some sort of post apocalypse, Deckard the blade runner cop, is tracking replicants, robotic androids that look human, but have gone rogue. The premise of the first film is a detective story, similar to the film noir genre, dark film, where the society has turned dingy and dark, and the lines between morality and destruction are blurred. The nature of humanity is explored a little, from the vantage of the search for the criminals, and their gang proves to be a match for the hero. The complexity of the main villain is a scene chewing great actor, who is really enjoying his voice. Deckard falls for one of the andorids, Rachel, but the villain is still out there. Once stopped, he returns to his apartment and they have sex, but it seems kind of forced. The movie ends with the chief leaving them a present to let them know he was there, but let them go.
Later versions made him a replicant also, but this was not canon.
The updated 2017 version takes place in the same universe, 35 years later, where some of the replicants have become citizens, and even one called Kay is a blade runner. He discovers that there is a burial box of bones after a hit at a dusty site, but when he brings it back, they look at it and discover it is a woman who died in childbirth, and a replicant, which was siad to be impossible. Then the chief lady doesn't want him following the case. He does anyway. He has a virutal girlfriend but gives her a mobile emitter. He goes on a quest to the new android plant and meets a scene chewing blind master who had a Jesus complex, and is even sadistically killing his replicants. Then he visits a girl who is encased in a virtual room, who leads him to the orphanage where he might have been raised. The story is more complex than the first, but has long stretches of searching, actual detective work, and future spy stuff. It is an improvement on the first, and expands the world. Spoilers. The body is that of Rachel, leading the detective to Deckard hiding in bombed out Las Vegas.
Deckhard could still be a replicant, or not.
He could still be related, or not.
It doesn't matter that there are 9 off world colonies and where they are.
The wall in both films refers to the wall blocking out the rising sea levels, not to some political riff on a current administration.
The story seems not to answer about environmental collapse, but doesn't have to.
Both are important films.
Later versions made him a replicant also, but this was not canon.
The updated 2017 version takes place in the same universe, 35 years later, where some of the replicants have become citizens, and even one called Kay is a blade runner. He discovers that there is a burial box of bones after a hit at a dusty site, but when he brings it back, they look at it and discover it is a woman who died in childbirth, and a replicant, which was siad to be impossible. Then the chief lady doesn't want him following the case. He does anyway. He has a virutal girlfriend but gives her a mobile emitter. He goes on a quest to the new android plant and meets a scene chewing blind master who had a Jesus complex, and is even sadistically killing his replicants. Then he visits a girl who is encased in a virtual room, who leads him to the orphanage where he might have been raised. The story is more complex than the first, but has long stretches of searching, actual detective work, and future spy stuff. It is an improvement on the first, and expands the world. Spoilers. The body is that of Rachel, leading the detective to Deckard hiding in bombed out Las Vegas.
Deckhard could still be a replicant, or not.
He could still be related, or not.
It doesn't matter that there are 9 off world colonies and where they are.
The wall in both films refers to the wall blocking out the rising sea levels, not to some political riff on a current administration.
The story seems not to answer about environmental collapse, but doesn't have to.
Both are important films.
Movie Recaps: August to early October 2017 Kal Kat
"Leap!"
French film Ballerina gets dubbed into English in awkward girl goes to the city fantasy. Cartoon take is uncanny, but some of it seems to work. Forget about the animation mixing the Eiffel Tower construction wit the State of Libery's, separated by actually 5 years. The story of two orphans in Paris where one somehow befriends Eiffel, but you never seem him, and the other becomes another person in disguise to be the dancer in the Nutcracker, but is caught. Forget that the Nutcracker would not exist for another 8 years. Anyway it's an okay children's movie. May contain some intense action.
"Close Encounters of the Third Kind"
The reissue of the classic movie that inspired so many more, including ET and the miniseries Taken, is the dramatic Spielberg family story of a man who seems to be going insane after an alien encounter on a dark road. The story is more a drama than a contact movie. It is slow paced until the end. Many new generation people will be utterly bored. It is a classic though and pointed the way to more upbeat and action packed copycat films. Last year's The Arrival was a cousin to this, but a generation and more later.The theatrical redo aired in a faux imax showing where the ship models looked crisp and fantastic, but the puppets looked unconvincing as aliens. It wasn't their fault. This is best on bluray. It should be shown in film schools. See it's not really about aliens on the devil's mesa, it's about people discovering they don't belong together, and seems to be a divorce parable.
"Stephen Kin's It"
The 2017 version of, spoiler, one part of the saga of It returns to the screen but now in theaters. It was a miniseries in 1990. It works better as a miniseries. The first film deals with the kids of Derry, Maine, where children are being sucked into a labyrinth like sewer system where an evil clown alien demon is apparently harvesting them. Friends team together as archetypes of King's friends, and go off on a Mary Sue type adventure to find one of their friends' little brother, who disappeared a year prior. What they find isn't him, but trickery from the alien clown demon. Also there are creepy parents, the one girl who might be some sort of vamp, but turns out she is just abused, and also some jump scares. The film was not wholly scary. It had moments, and it seems an onkay horror movie, and it does earn the R rating.
"American Assassin"
This is a movie copying a dozen others, as yet another movie about a rogue maverich agent out for revenge against the cartel that killed his fiance, and yet another coming of age story of young hotshot spy and aged master. It caught interest because of the leads, who were in the film chewing scenery, but story wise is was kind of lame. The spies seem to get out of every bind, and only bad guys get shot. The one messed up fun scene was a simulated town gag where the trainee accidentally shoots through the other trainee because she was annoying, but still, it was staged. It still didn't quitew work.
"Kingsman The Golden Circle"
This is not The Circle, but another movie about a cult. The drug cult is run by a famous star chewing scenery, and she is out to destroy the Kingsman mansion itself, and render them out of the way so she can win the war on drugs, market her own supply, and cure those she deliberately infected. It seems like a fun enough premise, as it is so batty insane, but it's missing something. The lead spy from the first one is now engaged to the girl from the gag at the end of the last one, for no reason. The spies discover their agent man from the church episode last time was in fact rescued by the Statesman, a group that rescues them to Amnerica where we're all living in a faux western, but he's now nuts. For some reason, evil cult lady likes melting little golden circles on people. She has also captured Elton John, as himself. Honestly, what were they on when they came up with this script? It's supposed to be a James Bond spoof, but this is ridiculous. She even dispatches enemies ala a giant industrial meat grinder. Lovely. It should have worked, but it didn't because it was all over the place.
"Lego Ninjao The Movie"
This story was actually in production before the Lego Movie, and looks it, as the effects aren't wuite polished as much as the Lego movie, or the Lego Batman movie. So this was actually first, named for the popular feudal fusion ninja cartoon of the same name. In this wrap around though, an aged Jackie Chan plays his rode from Kung Fu Kid (Karate Kid 5). He doesn't need to be there. The bumpers do not fit. You can tell they were added later to be more like 'The Lego Movie'. For the initiated, the story takes place in the third season after they go to the current century via the time travel episode. It is okay. The crowning achievement is a striped kitty cat secret weapon that does like Godzilla and is summoned into town to trash the hero mechs, because as batty as that sounds, in that universe a Purr Beast works! A similar gag is featured in the 2014 out take footage of Starship Chimera, our fan film, which has been online since then, where a cat disrupts the set filming and is referred to as The Purr Beast out to 'Decimate your enemies with his adorable cuteness!"
French film Ballerina gets dubbed into English in awkward girl goes to the city fantasy. Cartoon take is uncanny, but some of it seems to work. Forget about the animation mixing the Eiffel Tower construction wit the State of Libery's, separated by actually 5 years. The story of two orphans in Paris where one somehow befriends Eiffel, but you never seem him, and the other becomes another person in disguise to be the dancer in the Nutcracker, but is caught. Forget that the Nutcracker would not exist for another 8 years. Anyway it's an okay children's movie. May contain some intense action.
"Close Encounters of the Third Kind"
The reissue of the classic movie that inspired so many more, including ET and the miniseries Taken, is the dramatic Spielberg family story of a man who seems to be going insane after an alien encounter on a dark road. The story is more a drama than a contact movie. It is slow paced until the end. Many new generation people will be utterly bored. It is a classic though and pointed the way to more upbeat and action packed copycat films. Last year's The Arrival was a cousin to this, but a generation and more later.The theatrical redo aired in a faux imax showing where the ship models looked crisp and fantastic, but the puppets looked unconvincing as aliens. It wasn't their fault. This is best on bluray. It should be shown in film schools. See it's not really about aliens on the devil's mesa, it's about people discovering they don't belong together, and seems to be a divorce parable.
"Stephen Kin's It"
The 2017 version of, spoiler, one part of the saga of It returns to the screen but now in theaters. It was a miniseries in 1990. It works better as a miniseries. The first film deals with the kids of Derry, Maine, where children are being sucked into a labyrinth like sewer system where an evil clown alien demon is apparently harvesting them. Friends team together as archetypes of King's friends, and go off on a Mary Sue type adventure to find one of their friends' little brother, who disappeared a year prior. What they find isn't him, but trickery from the alien clown demon. Also there are creepy parents, the one girl who might be some sort of vamp, but turns out she is just abused, and also some jump scares. The film was not wholly scary. It had moments, and it seems an onkay horror movie, and it does earn the R rating.
"American Assassin"
This is a movie copying a dozen others, as yet another movie about a rogue maverich agent out for revenge against the cartel that killed his fiance, and yet another coming of age story of young hotshot spy and aged master. It caught interest because of the leads, who were in the film chewing scenery, but story wise is was kind of lame. The spies seem to get out of every bind, and only bad guys get shot. The one messed up fun scene was a simulated town gag where the trainee accidentally shoots through the other trainee because she was annoying, but still, it was staged. It still didn't quitew work.
"Kingsman The Golden Circle"
This is not The Circle, but another movie about a cult. The drug cult is run by a famous star chewing scenery, and she is out to destroy the Kingsman mansion itself, and render them out of the way so she can win the war on drugs, market her own supply, and cure those she deliberately infected. It seems like a fun enough premise, as it is so batty insane, but it's missing something. The lead spy from the first one is now engaged to the girl from the gag at the end of the last one, for no reason. The spies discover their agent man from the church episode last time was in fact rescued by the Statesman, a group that rescues them to Amnerica where we're all living in a faux western, but he's now nuts. For some reason, evil cult lady likes melting little golden circles on people. She has also captured Elton John, as himself. Honestly, what were they on when they came up with this script? It's supposed to be a James Bond spoof, but this is ridiculous. She even dispatches enemies ala a giant industrial meat grinder. Lovely. It should have worked, but it didn't because it was all over the place.
"Lego Ninjao The Movie"
This story was actually in production before the Lego Movie, and looks it, as the effects aren't wuite polished as much as the Lego movie, or the Lego Batman movie. So this was actually first, named for the popular feudal fusion ninja cartoon of the same name. In this wrap around though, an aged Jackie Chan plays his rode from Kung Fu Kid (Karate Kid 5). He doesn't need to be there. The bumpers do not fit. You can tell they were added later to be more like 'The Lego Movie'. For the initiated, the story takes place in the third season after they go to the current century via the time travel episode. It is okay. The crowning achievement is a striped kitty cat secret weapon that does like Godzilla and is summoned into town to trash the hero mechs, because as batty as that sounds, in that universe a Purr Beast works! A similar gag is featured in the 2014 out take footage of Starship Chimera, our fan film, which has been online since then, where a cat disrupts the set filming and is referred to as The Purr Beast out to 'Decimate your enemies with his adorable cuteness!"
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