We're sell outs and will do anything to be in Hollywood. Anything. So long as it's not illegal.
Welcome to this year's Clarabelle awards.
Nominees are based on the movies that only Kal Kat saw, and sometimes Marx Cards also saw.
Categories are simple and broad, with titles like best comedy, best fantasy, best drama and best science fiction and best thriller, or best action film.
Films in categories at top are just listed, not best or worst.
Fantasy/Science Fiction
The Martian
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Ant Man
Avengers 2: Age of Ultron
The Hunger Games Mockingjay 1 and 2
The Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials
Ex Machina
Tomorrowland
Terminator Genesys
Jurassic World
Jupiter Ascending
Fantastic 4
Pixels
In this category we have four films, as the two Marvel films nominated were merely good but not excellent.
Comedy/Action
Spy
Trainwreck
Ted 2
Vacation 2015
In this category we have only four to pick from with two of them being bad.
Thriller/Horror
Poltergeist 2015
The Gift
Krampus
The Visit
Victor Frankenstein
American Ultra
Spectre
Mission Impossible Rogue Nation
Furious 7
Although we have not seen Krampus, it could make the list, and the others were just okay, and some were stupid.
Animation/Cartoon/Fantasy
Inside Out
The Good Dinosaur
Home
Two animated Pixar movies are up for best picture! Oh dear.
Friday, December 25, 2015
Wednesday, December 23, 2015
Review: "Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens" is Passionate nod to the Classic Series (spoilers)
Star Wars Episode 7: The Force Awakens PG 13
(Major Spoilers). JJ Abrams directs the seventh installment in the Star Wars franchise and takes to the desert planet Jakku running as a rebel character meets with an old man and is given a secret map to the location of a missing Luke Skywalker.
The First Order descends on the base and destroys the village looking for the map, but the rolling 'mech' droid BB8 has already disappeared with it into the night. Then a black clad figure with shiny goggles and a hood tries to get the information out of the Resistance pilot. Unable to do this, he takes him back to the black menacing star destroyer class ship in orbit.
Back on the ship, one of the storm troopers, now trained and not cloned, has a crisis of conscience and decides to free the pilot who had been captured from the evil Kylo Ren's torture center. Kylo is the apprentice of a previous dark lord called Snoke, who is immediately shown via a hologram.
The storm trooper and the rebel escape in a stolen tie fighter, which is painted all black, but it is shot down over Jakku. The trooper has chosen a name, Fin, based on his number, FN2187, which the rebel had quickly chosen for him. Fin could be, but likely isn't, the son or relative of Lando from the series.
Inter playing through this is the story of Rey, a young female force sensitive scavenger who trades in a junk yard that is literally a city on the planet. She crosses paths with Fin in a village shopping area when the storm troopers return looking for the droid, which she has since befriended, as luck would have it. Fin and Rey have instant chemistry and banter back and forth. It is evident right off the Rey is force sensitive and can do things because she has a gift from that, like Anakin in the prequels.
Then having shown the whole card, spoilers abounding, Snoke reveals that Kylo Ren is in fact the son of Han Solo and Leia Organa, really sooner than he should have, but it's done. Then Kylo reveals he has kept Grandpa Vader's melted helmet and skull in his cabin! That's not even some Daddy issues, but some Hamlet going on there, and some Greek tragedy too, as there is some Prometheus and Icarus falls from grace going on. (Spilers).
Kylo is also a hothead and spends the movie getting physically mad at his inaffective troops, made that way because he's a rather conflicted evil leader. This descendant of Anakin is far more realized and interesting than the original, and it makes sense. It seems there's a little Kevin Smith Star War lecture in here. (He's credited with some of this jazz in the credits, which later I was not surprised to see, as it sounded like he and JJ had a chat).
Back on Jakku, Fin and Rey try to fleet the storm troopers and tie fighters coming after them by stealing about a trashed Corellian freighter. Yes, that freighter! The Millennium Falcon is back up and running and flies off, avoiding the enemy by chasing through a downed super star destroyer. (It is a beautifully fully realized set that I had seen online before the film was done buck could not discuss till now)!
The Falcon is later captured in deep space by a larger cargo ship held up by two gangs of pirates, and then suddenly the pirate leader appears! He's Han Solo! Chewbacca is also there! Old Han takes back the ship after some banter, but they have to fight off the pirates that are after his sorry hide first. Fortunately, there are some Rathrats (Chulutlu, or whatnot, a nice touch and a nod to scifi monsters, even if cheesy), on the ship and they accidentally let them out to fight the other gangs. They escape at light speed which destroys the bigger ship.
Then later the evil First Order plots to destroy all resistance from the New Rebulic and their new planets, not including Coruscant, by arming their glorious new Star Killer base planet ship. (Luke Starkiller was the original name of Luke). Also it's nice to know JJ has read my books and included a Tahdemis class Diadem in his movie, although he got how it worked wrong).
The Falcon then journeys to a green planet to find an alien bar where a little orange force sensitive alien tries to give Rey the light saber from Cloud City that Luke dropped 35 years earlier, (and lost a hand), but the planet is shortly under attack by the First Order and decimated. The Resistance rescues them and leading them is General Organa!
Han has little choice then but to find his ex-wife, Leia, and return to the Resistance, which formerly had worked for the New Republic, but recently broke off during the nod to the video games. (JJ didn't make the books canon but did the video games). They still need the map. C3PO and a dormant Artoo are there.
The showdowns in the movie include Han and Kylo, Finn and Kylo and thrn Rey and Kylo, while the planet ship thing is being attacked. The editing there is a bit weird, but it works, even if there';s no way they got inside and outside so quickly.
The movie hits all the right notes and pays homage without literally being a retread. Sure there is really no foreshadowing about Han and Kylo, but the rest is solid, and it has a lot of practical effect, emotion and character development. JJ seems more suited to Star Wars than he was Star Trek. Adam Driver plays a good villain. Daisy Ridley is solid as a sort of Luke relative, archetype. (She is likely Kylo's cousin and Luke's daughter, but it is not said).
Harrison Ford got his wish from long ago when he wanted his character to die. Also his son makes sense as you figure he and Leia can't raise a normal kid. He's going to be messed up.
Review by Adam Browne
(Major Spoilers). JJ Abrams directs the seventh installment in the Star Wars franchise and takes to the desert planet Jakku running as a rebel character meets with an old man and is given a secret map to the location of a missing Luke Skywalker.
The First Order descends on the base and destroys the village looking for the map, but the rolling 'mech' droid BB8 has already disappeared with it into the night. Then a black clad figure with shiny goggles and a hood tries to get the information out of the Resistance pilot. Unable to do this, he takes him back to the black menacing star destroyer class ship in orbit.
Back on the ship, one of the storm troopers, now trained and not cloned, has a crisis of conscience and decides to free the pilot who had been captured from the evil Kylo Ren's torture center. Kylo is the apprentice of a previous dark lord called Snoke, who is immediately shown via a hologram.
The storm trooper and the rebel escape in a stolen tie fighter, which is painted all black, but it is shot down over Jakku. The trooper has chosen a name, Fin, based on his number, FN2187, which the rebel had quickly chosen for him. Fin could be, but likely isn't, the son or relative of Lando from the series.
Inter playing through this is the story of Rey, a young female force sensitive scavenger who trades in a junk yard that is literally a city on the planet. She crosses paths with Fin in a village shopping area when the storm troopers return looking for the droid, which she has since befriended, as luck would have it. Fin and Rey have instant chemistry and banter back and forth. It is evident right off the Rey is force sensitive and can do things because she has a gift from that, like Anakin in the prequels.
Then having shown the whole card, spoilers abounding, Snoke reveals that Kylo Ren is in fact the son of Han Solo and Leia Organa, really sooner than he should have, but it's done. Then Kylo reveals he has kept Grandpa Vader's melted helmet and skull in his cabin! That's not even some Daddy issues, but some Hamlet going on there, and some Greek tragedy too, as there is some Prometheus and Icarus falls from grace going on. (Spilers).
Kylo is also a hothead and spends the movie getting physically mad at his inaffective troops, made that way because he's a rather conflicted evil leader. This descendant of Anakin is far more realized and interesting than the original, and it makes sense. It seems there's a little Kevin Smith Star War lecture in here. (He's credited with some of this jazz in the credits, which later I was not surprised to see, as it sounded like he and JJ had a chat).
Back on Jakku, Fin and Rey try to fleet the storm troopers and tie fighters coming after them by stealing about a trashed Corellian freighter. Yes, that freighter! The Millennium Falcon is back up and running and flies off, avoiding the enemy by chasing through a downed super star destroyer. (It is a beautifully fully realized set that I had seen online before the film was done buck could not discuss till now)!
The Falcon is later captured in deep space by a larger cargo ship held up by two gangs of pirates, and then suddenly the pirate leader appears! He's Han Solo! Chewbacca is also there! Old Han takes back the ship after some banter, but they have to fight off the pirates that are after his sorry hide first. Fortunately, there are some Rathrats (Chulutlu, or whatnot, a nice touch and a nod to scifi monsters, even if cheesy), on the ship and they accidentally let them out to fight the other gangs. They escape at light speed which destroys the bigger ship.
Then later the evil First Order plots to destroy all resistance from the New Rebulic and their new planets, not including Coruscant, by arming their glorious new Star Killer base planet ship. (Luke Starkiller was the original name of Luke). Also it's nice to know JJ has read my books and included a Tahdemis class Diadem in his movie, although he got how it worked wrong).
The Falcon then journeys to a green planet to find an alien bar where a little orange force sensitive alien tries to give Rey the light saber from Cloud City that Luke dropped 35 years earlier, (and lost a hand), but the planet is shortly under attack by the First Order and decimated. The Resistance rescues them and leading them is General Organa!
Han has little choice then but to find his ex-wife, Leia, and return to the Resistance, which formerly had worked for the New Republic, but recently broke off during the nod to the video games. (JJ didn't make the books canon but did the video games). They still need the map. C3PO and a dormant Artoo are there.
The showdowns in the movie include Han and Kylo, Finn and Kylo and thrn Rey and Kylo, while the planet ship thing is being attacked. The editing there is a bit weird, but it works, even if there';s no way they got inside and outside so quickly.
The movie hits all the right notes and pays homage without literally being a retread. Sure there is really no foreshadowing about Han and Kylo, but the rest is solid, and it has a lot of practical effect, emotion and character development. JJ seems more suited to Star Wars than he was Star Trek. Adam Driver plays a good villain. Daisy Ridley is solid as a sort of Luke relative, archetype. (She is likely Kylo's cousin and Luke's daughter, but it is not said).
Harrison Ford got his wish from long ago when he wanted his character to die. Also his son makes sense as you figure he and Leia can't raise a normal kid. He's going to be messed up.
Review by Adam Browne
Saturday, December 19, 2015
Review: "The Peanuts Movie" Is Cute Nod to the Comics
The Peanuts Movie is cute. It hits all the right notes. The child actors used to make the film are on point and about two thirds of the story are excellent. The middle joining part though with the Red Baron is just too long, and the jump to springtime is not necessary. Despite this, the film is about the classic trope of Charlie Brown and meeting the Redheaded Girl. The computer generated figures take some getting used to, but what's there is good and the story is solid.It is a good children's movie that at times makes you long for the comic strips or the holiday specials.
Review by Adam Browne
Review by Adam Browne
Review: "The Interview" is terrible riff of Team America and of Fox News
"The Interview" R
Seth Rogan should not be allowed to be leading man. He over acts. He doesn't know when his third acts lose it and become dark for some reason. This happen in Observe and Report and Pineapple Express, and even somewhat in Zack and Miri and Superbad.
This movie is a riff of the South Park film, Team America, a puppet riff on Fox News and on CNN at the time post Sept. 11. In the new film, Seth and his co star play a news station mogul, and his game show one liner spouting main host.
They are parodies of Donald Trump, Bill O'Reilly, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. This could have worked had it been actually funny. It isn't.
Skylark is a moronic character who has somehow become America's number one entertainment host, but when he is offered the chance to interview Kim Jung Un, the recent son and leader of North Korea, the poo hits the fan.
It seems that the FBI or the CIA want to get rid of the communist leader, so they plot his demise via the producer and his host, going there and somehow offing him. They are unfortunately bungling fools and could not carry out anything let alone an assassination.
What's truly odd though is this is supposed to be a comedy. It is no funny. The two funny scenes revolve around whether or not Kim is a deity who never poops, or if Eminem is gay.
Yeah, that's it. The rest of the movie is the two talk show fools hanging out with Kim in his palace and trying to avoid being pulled into some obvious lies from the communist state.
This film was actually never released due to a Sony hacking by what later turned out to be an ex employee in cohorts with the Koreans, and not the actual angered Koreans. He was just mad he got fired and shut down the movie.
Actually the movie is not worth even seeing, not even of a Riff show.
It is not so much offensive as just plain angry and dumb, and the jokes fall flat in favor of scat humor or of people making fake Asian voices, and going on about how evil it is somewhere.
Their motivations are also insane. Nobody would ask the two fools to do such a thing, and they would have been killed instantly. Yawn.
Review by Anonymous
Seth Rogan should not be allowed to be leading man. He over acts. He doesn't know when his third acts lose it and become dark for some reason. This happen in Observe and Report and Pineapple Express, and even somewhat in Zack and Miri and Superbad.
This movie is a riff of the South Park film, Team America, a puppet riff on Fox News and on CNN at the time post Sept. 11. In the new film, Seth and his co star play a news station mogul, and his game show one liner spouting main host.
They are parodies of Donald Trump, Bill O'Reilly, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. This could have worked had it been actually funny. It isn't.
Skylark is a moronic character who has somehow become America's number one entertainment host, but when he is offered the chance to interview Kim Jung Un, the recent son and leader of North Korea, the poo hits the fan.
It seems that the FBI or the CIA want to get rid of the communist leader, so they plot his demise via the producer and his host, going there and somehow offing him. They are unfortunately bungling fools and could not carry out anything let alone an assassination.
What's truly odd though is this is supposed to be a comedy. It is no funny. The two funny scenes revolve around whether or not Kim is a deity who never poops, or if Eminem is gay.
Yeah, that's it. The rest of the movie is the two talk show fools hanging out with Kim in his palace and trying to avoid being pulled into some obvious lies from the communist state.
This film was actually never released due to a Sony hacking by what later turned out to be an ex employee in cohorts with the Koreans, and not the actual angered Koreans. He was just mad he got fired and shut down the movie.
Actually the movie is not worth even seeing, not even of a Riff show.
It is not so much offensive as just plain angry and dumb, and the jokes fall flat in favor of scat humor or of people making fake Asian voices, and going on about how evil it is somewhere.
Their motivations are also insane. Nobody would ask the two fools to do such a thing, and they would have been killed instantly. Yawn.
Review by Anonymous
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