"Deadpool 2"
The Merch with the Mouth is back in his second raunchy film,and he's fighting Cable this time, because he has traveled through time to kill the future Fire Fist before he can kill the Essex school master jerk guy. The X Men show up and try reasoning with him. Battles happen. Still really, we could have done without another tiny body parts during regeneration gag. The time travel as reset is used to kind of mess with the reality of the whole thing, but okay. It really is a nod to the 1990s X Force and X Men cartoons more than the comics. Not bad. Not great.
"Batman Ninja"
The highly anticipated blu ray release of this odd high concept Batman steampunk story, where a time traveling Gorilla Grog takes all the main villains back into time and space to feudal Japan, and Batman and some of the Robins, to have them battle. The dubbing on the dubbed version is cool, but some of the voices get quiet. The Joker is delightfully insane, as is Harley. The guy playing Batman does a pretty good imitation of a Keaton era Batman, with a little Nolan era in the end. The film went direct to video and yet is one of the better DC animated batman concepts of late.
"Solo: A Star Wars Story"
If Revenge of the Sith took place about 13 years ago in the original universe, then this is in that universe, or five years before Rogue One, and A New Hope, 18 years after Revenge of the Sith. This is thus canon with Clone Wars the cartoon and Rebels. Seems it's a love letter to the EU. Young Han becomes Solo (by a cheeky name change) and goes into the 'service' but is a deserter when he meets some rebels, and they want him to go on a mission to steal some energy canisters off a train. Then the marauders take the booty, and kill the leader's wife, so Han finds another way, he goes gambling. It's not Canto Bight. It's some other place. Anyway, there he meets Lando the Calrissian. Later, they go on a heist on planet Kessel, (with spice mines like Dune)and go on the...Kessel Run! A cheeky reference to that has been in every classic movie, and the 12 'parsecs' are explained away as 'normally it takes 20, but we rounded up', but still a parsec is a unit of time, not distance! Yep, everything you might expect, playing it safe mostly, and ending with no real 'subversion'. The problem is this movie is weak on the 'new and different' and doesn't go anywhere you would not expect.
So the timelines kind of look like this.
The Phantom Menace, year 1
Attack of the Clones, year 11
Revenge of the Sith, year 15 (Luke and Leia born),
Han Solo, year 20
Rogue One, year 32
A New Hope, year 33, (Luke and Leia 18)
The Empire Strikes Back, year 35
Return of the Jedi, year 38 (Luke nearly finishes training, Vader defeated, Leia and Han going to have baby, future Kylo)
The Force Awakens, year 68, (Ben Solo/Kylo Ren is 30),
The Last Jedi, year 69
The First Order, ?? *My guess on the title.
So, I liked the movie just fine. It didn't bother me the actor was one head too short to play Han. The annoying femme bot did not really do much except be like Threepio in smugness.
And no, net fan boys, Lando never once pretends to be metro or pan sexual, not once, in the film. He's just flirty. He was a Casanova type flirt in the original. You are reading too much into that. It would have been cool if he was into anything, and he did diddle a robot, but he didn't explicitly claim he wanted Han. Now as for Chewie and Han...oh my.Just kidding. Or am I? Ha.
Thursday, May 31, 2018
April in Movies
"Cock Blockers"
This raunchy comedy about three girl friends attempting to get laid at prom is at lot funnier than it should be. Had it been three guys, it would have sucked, but because it's three girls, and their parents chase them, it's somehow better. The adults do chew scenery more so than the leads, and even steal their thunder. Despite confusing editing involving times they go and come from a hotel, clothing they should not have in the next scene anymore, and confusing placement of a stereotyped male model, the movie is fine. It's okay. The title is often said to be 'Blockers' but it has astyliezed rooster, so it's 'cock blockers', a term from millennials.
"Isle of Dogs"
The strange Wes Anderson film that makes you say 'I love dogs', is a cute go motion animated, stop motion enhanced fable of a future where in Japan they have outlawed dogs due to a dog flu, and cast them out into an island. Then a dog is wrongfully sent there, leading to his boy trying to rescue him. The combination of Japanese and dubbed English speaking actors is not nearly as confusing as one might think. The story is not race baiting or anything controversial. The only thing shocking is an operation scene. Some of the visuals may be confusing, but it works. It is not really for small children though.
"Avengers Infinity War"
The ten years of Marvel Disney culminates in a spring movie literally on the heels of the last one, 'Black Panther', as both were still playing together when it came out! Thanos the Mad Titan wants the magic infinity stones to rid the universe of half of everything, and restore balance, and the super heroes are out to stop him. Ridding the universe of heroes would be bad for business! The team up of the Avengers, Spider Man and Thor, and Doctor Strange, and Hulk, and various others is an action spectacle from deep space, where the Guardians of the Galaxy appear, to Wakanda on Earth! Disney took some risks with this film, and it went there. (It is still playing). Worth owning later on blu ray.
This raunchy comedy about three girl friends attempting to get laid at prom is at lot funnier than it should be. Had it been three guys, it would have sucked, but because it's three girls, and their parents chase them, it's somehow better. The adults do chew scenery more so than the leads, and even steal their thunder. Despite confusing editing involving times they go and come from a hotel, clothing they should not have in the next scene anymore, and confusing placement of a stereotyped male model, the movie is fine. It's okay. The title is often said to be 'Blockers' but it has astyliezed rooster, so it's 'cock blockers', a term from millennials.
"Isle of Dogs"
The strange Wes Anderson film that makes you say 'I love dogs', is a cute go motion animated, stop motion enhanced fable of a future where in Japan they have outlawed dogs due to a dog flu, and cast them out into an island. Then a dog is wrongfully sent there, leading to his boy trying to rescue him. The combination of Japanese and dubbed English speaking actors is not nearly as confusing as one might think. The story is not race baiting or anything controversial. The only thing shocking is an operation scene. Some of the visuals may be confusing, but it works. It is not really for small children though.
"Avengers Infinity War"
The ten years of Marvel Disney culminates in a spring movie literally on the heels of the last one, 'Black Panther', as both were still playing together when it came out! Thanos the Mad Titan wants the magic infinity stones to rid the universe of half of everything, and restore balance, and the super heroes are out to stop him. Ridding the universe of heroes would be bad for business! The team up of the Avengers, Spider Man and Thor, and Doctor Strange, and Hulk, and various others is an action spectacle from deep space, where the Guardians of the Galaxy appear, to Wakanda on Earth! Disney took some risks with this film, and it went there. (It is still playing). Worth owning later on blu ray.
March 2018 in Movies
"Death Wish"
Bruce Willis does a remake of a movie that defined the vigilante franchise, about a decade or so too late. It's not that he's bad as Death Wish, who is out to kill those who have murdered his wife, but he's terrible at convincing you he's not a Doctor Strange rip off as his alter ego. Without the magic though, he's not Strange, just strange. He's not supposed to be likeable. The movie is not all that good. Sure it has some kills, but video games are more violent. (Double feature special with Red Sparrow).
"Red Sparrow"
After the slog of sitting through Death Wish, it was a nice surprise to sit through a hilarious dark comedy about Russian spies played by a campy set of supporting actors, and Jen Lawrence in the lead had such a funny accent! The problem was, none of this was a comedy. It didn't intend to be. This girl witnesses a murder and is drafted into a super secret spy agency by her spy uncle, but it turns out the school is also 'whore school' for the depraved schoolmaster lady, and there she learns to exploit her talents, ahem, but drops out. Then she becomes a super agent anyway and goes on a mission, where she has unconvincing relations with an American double agent who looks like a guy from another film, but wasn't him. Despite the alleged 'agent female empowerment' scene where she stops the creeper guy, it is not, it is exploitation because she is told to do it. Yet another movie where the only nude scene is so dreary and yucky you want to shower after seeing it. How is that fun? But it is a fake Russian movie. Actually, it is a rip off of Atomic Blonde, a much better movie, with a better nude scene, also dreary though, but there Theron is taking a bath, so it is empowering. Ha.
(Double feature special with Death Wish).
"A Wrinkle In Time"
This fantasy film remake of a film and TV film from decades back is an odd duck of a movie. It tries so hard to be racially neutral and girl power edgy at the same time it misses the point of being fun. Oprah chews scenery as a space goddess, but sure, she thinks she is anyway. The odd casting of Chris Pine as the missing Dad is confusing, more so than the casting of the lead, who is forgettable in the role. The big name actresses keep stealing all the good lines. It's not her fault. She was good in other movies. The fantasy idea that this little magical girl can somehow make physic work completely differently from how they would is not a problem, as that's in the book, but she also rides a flowing cabbage lady through the sky, and that was when everyone zoned out. The script for this had to be a mess. Meh.
"Tomb Raider"
The remake of Tomb Raider follows more closely the games than the previous films did, with a new person filling in for now too old Jolie, although she was forgettable in the part. The bad guys get more screen time than her, as does her uninteresting partner, a grumpy ship captain. And how did a model Sony camcorder from the late 1990s and battery remain intact and operating for 20 years? That model didn't last an hour without recharging! Even if she plugged it in, and she didn't, it would have a super 8 style micro tape so degraded, it would not be playable. The twist at the end was fun though, as the idea of an ancient queen of death is different. No, it might seem like the ending of that horrid Mummy remake, but it's not.Worth a bargain rental.
"Pacific Rim Uprising"
Alien monsters are back to destroy Earth, and it's up to the Yeager robots to destroy them. No, it's not Transformers, but something else, a title with a brunt of butt jokes, Pacific Rim! Del Toro did not want to touch another Pacific Rim movie, giving it to another director, and the guy made the Star Wars dude the hero, as the son of the hero from the last one. So it is basically a high concept Robot Jox 2. It is also unfortunately too much like a Transformers clone, while trying to be a Robotech clone with 'edgy talking space marines' and stuff. It's not terrible. It has some moments. The villain is an insane type Robotech stock villain, and comes off as a parody of them, but also of Dr. Hyde from that Mummy movie.
"Ready Player One"
Forty years in the future, everyone plays a pedantic quest video game modeled after a rich game master's 1980s obsessions, and to win it, a kid from the 'stacks' of this crowded city must go into the internet to play it, over and over. Based on a book that Marx Cards loved, the film is well, a version of it. At times, the story drips nostalgia, with a cowboy Iron Giant, and Akira bike, and even a Back to the Future/Knight Rider kit bash car, but at other times it misses the mark. The book had a Voltron. The movie has a lesser known Gundam. The Iron Giant uses guns (when he should be a pacifist). The movie has no sign of Transformers, anywhere. (They do include the space battleship Yamato aka the Argo though in a brief clip, misquote online as an SDF One from Robotech, but it's the Yamato, as it has one central wave cannon, not two). Going really fast backward would have occurred to 'every gamer in the game'! Th clues were not similar to those in the book. This didn't make it bad, but different. The average looking gamer girl of the book is replaced by a smoking hot girl in the movie who has an anime style birthmark. The eventual conclusion is reached weirdly. The movie is not bad, but not great. It's like a well done bootleg game with cheat codes, and nothing like Pixels.
Bruce Willis does a remake of a movie that defined the vigilante franchise, about a decade or so too late. It's not that he's bad as Death Wish, who is out to kill those who have murdered his wife, but he's terrible at convincing you he's not a Doctor Strange rip off as his alter ego. Without the magic though, he's not Strange, just strange. He's not supposed to be likeable. The movie is not all that good. Sure it has some kills, but video games are more violent. (Double feature special with Red Sparrow).
"Red Sparrow"
After the slog of sitting through Death Wish, it was a nice surprise to sit through a hilarious dark comedy about Russian spies played by a campy set of supporting actors, and Jen Lawrence in the lead had such a funny accent! The problem was, none of this was a comedy. It didn't intend to be. This girl witnesses a murder and is drafted into a super secret spy agency by her spy uncle, but it turns out the school is also 'whore school' for the depraved schoolmaster lady, and there she learns to exploit her talents, ahem, but drops out. Then she becomes a super agent anyway and goes on a mission, where she has unconvincing relations with an American double agent who looks like a guy from another film, but wasn't him. Despite the alleged 'agent female empowerment' scene where she stops the creeper guy, it is not, it is exploitation because she is told to do it. Yet another movie where the only nude scene is so dreary and yucky you want to shower after seeing it. How is that fun? But it is a fake Russian movie. Actually, it is a rip off of Atomic Blonde, a much better movie, with a better nude scene, also dreary though, but there Theron is taking a bath, so it is empowering. Ha.
(Double feature special with Death Wish).
"A Wrinkle In Time"
This fantasy film remake of a film and TV film from decades back is an odd duck of a movie. It tries so hard to be racially neutral and girl power edgy at the same time it misses the point of being fun. Oprah chews scenery as a space goddess, but sure, she thinks she is anyway. The odd casting of Chris Pine as the missing Dad is confusing, more so than the casting of the lead, who is forgettable in the role. The big name actresses keep stealing all the good lines. It's not her fault. She was good in other movies. The fantasy idea that this little magical girl can somehow make physic work completely differently from how they would is not a problem, as that's in the book, but she also rides a flowing cabbage lady through the sky, and that was when everyone zoned out. The script for this had to be a mess. Meh.
"Tomb Raider"
The remake of Tomb Raider follows more closely the games than the previous films did, with a new person filling in for now too old Jolie, although she was forgettable in the part. The bad guys get more screen time than her, as does her uninteresting partner, a grumpy ship captain. And how did a model Sony camcorder from the late 1990s and battery remain intact and operating for 20 years? That model didn't last an hour without recharging! Even if she plugged it in, and she didn't, it would have a super 8 style micro tape so degraded, it would not be playable. The twist at the end was fun though, as the idea of an ancient queen of death is different. No, it might seem like the ending of that horrid Mummy remake, but it's not.Worth a bargain rental.
"Pacific Rim Uprising"
Alien monsters are back to destroy Earth, and it's up to the Yeager robots to destroy them. No, it's not Transformers, but something else, a title with a brunt of butt jokes, Pacific Rim! Del Toro did not want to touch another Pacific Rim movie, giving it to another director, and the guy made the Star Wars dude the hero, as the son of the hero from the last one. So it is basically a high concept Robot Jox 2. It is also unfortunately too much like a Transformers clone, while trying to be a Robotech clone with 'edgy talking space marines' and stuff. It's not terrible. It has some moments. The villain is an insane type Robotech stock villain, and comes off as a parody of them, but also of Dr. Hyde from that Mummy movie.
"Ready Player One"
Forty years in the future, everyone plays a pedantic quest video game modeled after a rich game master's 1980s obsessions, and to win it, a kid from the 'stacks' of this crowded city must go into the internet to play it, over and over. Based on a book that Marx Cards loved, the film is well, a version of it. At times, the story drips nostalgia, with a cowboy Iron Giant, and Akira bike, and even a Back to the Future/Knight Rider kit bash car, but at other times it misses the mark. The book had a Voltron. The movie has a lesser known Gundam. The Iron Giant uses guns (when he should be a pacifist). The movie has no sign of Transformers, anywhere. (They do include the space battleship Yamato aka the Argo though in a brief clip, misquote online as an SDF One from Robotech, but it's the Yamato, as it has one central wave cannon, not two). Going really fast backward would have occurred to 'every gamer in the game'! Th clues were not similar to those in the book. This didn't make it bad, but different. The average looking gamer girl of the book is replaced by a smoking hot girl in the movie who has an anime style birthmark. The eventual conclusion is reached weirdly. The movie is not bad, but not great. It's like a well done bootleg game with cheat codes, and nothing like Pixels.
February 2018 In Movies
"The Shape of Water"
This quirky retread of The Creature from the Black Lagoon went on to be nominated, and won, Best Picture of the Year. The other movies were too dower. The film is about a comely woman employee at a lab who falls for a captured mutant sea monster. The art inspired one of the great shipping artists. It seems to pay homage to old films as well. It is a period piece set in the 1960s. The bad guy chews scenery, and his fingers, literally. The woman is mute. The woman's landlord is closeted. It is really Oscar bait for sure.
"The Post"
This odd prequel to All the President's Men is a Spielberg attempt to get yet another Oscar to go with his other ones. At times a pedantic slog, but the awards show likes that. Funniest mess up they did not notice, no way could the spy have used a modern photocopier to copy those 'Pentagon Papers', as all they had in 1971 or so was the blue ink 'mimeograph' copiers. The Xerox company would not exist until 1978. Also the trucks were the wrong color for the Post at the time. Despite that, the acting was solid, and it got some Oscars.
"Cloverfield Paradox"
This Netflix movie surprised by appearing the week of the Super Bowl, but it was mostly a pedestrian Alien 3/Life rip off, with some wrap around extra dull stuff about Cloverfield tossed in. It might have been better as just an Alien rip off, just like Cloverfield Lane would have been better as just 'The Cellar'. Yawn.
"The Greatest Showman"
This movie proves 'there is an Oscar movie born every minute' as Hugh Jackman plays PT Barnum, and the story adds a forced stage singer love interest, who was not really like that. Also newspapers didn't look like that in the period. Musical elements were fun though and the heart wrenching song about the disenchanted circus actress who longed to be someone special was nice.
"Marvel's Black Panther"
Coming off the 'implied risk' of DC making a Wonder Woman flick, already in production Marvel film Black Panther tackled the first black superhero movie, especially after WW made a ton of money on the other side. So basically it is not offensive to call it 'The Lion King' meets Hamlet, but odd that TLK is a Hamlet movie (and a wee bit of Othello). The Panther mus claim the kingdom after the death of his Father, but a cousin from the past comes to claim the throne for his own. It had everyone going "Wakanda forever!" in malls, and played for an amazing several months, actually butting up with 'Avengers Infinity War', its own sequel, in May! Fantasy place Wakanda seems a kind of super advanced Congo. No Oscar bait here, but a lot of fun.
"Annihilation"
A space rock crashes into New England beach area causing a bizarre fractal world to break into the universe, so a team of people are sent in, and don't come out, causing them to send in another. This bizarre little scifi horror movie is actually awesome, but disappeared quickly because of bad timing. It had the feel of big ideas, and discovery, and had mutations run amok as a theme. The idea of an alien 'invasion' where the creature just wants to 'exist' is interesting. Just so happens, his arrival is destroying the area. Worth a blu ray release buy.
See my reviews on WeirdKitty07 on YouTube.
This quirky retread of The Creature from the Black Lagoon went on to be nominated, and won, Best Picture of the Year. The other movies were too dower. The film is about a comely woman employee at a lab who falls for a captured mutant sea monster. The art inspired one of the great shipping artists. It seems to pay homage to old films as well. It is a period piece set in the 1960s. The bad guy chews scenery, and his fingers, literally. The woman is mute. The woman's landlord is closeted. It is really Oscar bait for sure.
"The Post"
This odd prequel to All the President's Men is a Spielberg attempt to get yet another Oscar to go with his other ones. At times a pedantic slog, but the awards show likes that. Funniest mess up they did not notice, no way could the spy have used a modern photocopier to copy those 'Pentagon Papers', as all they had in 1971 or so was the blue ink 'mimeograph' copiers. The Xerox company would not exist until 1978. Also the trucks were the wrong color for the Post at the time. Despite that, the acting was solid, and it got some Oscars.
"Cloverfield Paradox"
This Netflix movie surprised by appearing the week of the Super Bowl, but it was mostly a pedestrian Alien 3/Life rip off, with some wrap around extra dull stuff about Cloverfield tossed in. It might have been better as just an Alien rip off, just like Cloverfield Lane would have been better as just 'The Cellar'. Yawn.
"The Greatest Showman"
This movie proves 'there is an Oscar movie born every minute' as Hugh Jackman plays PT Barnum, and the story adds a forced stage singer love interest, who was not really like that. Also newspapers didn't look like that in the period. Musical elements were fun though and the heart wrenching song about the disenchanted circus actress who longed to be someone special was nice.
"Marvel's Black Panther"
Coming off the 'implied risk' of DC making a Wonder Woman flick, already in production Marvel film Black Panther tackled the first black superhero movie, especially after WW made a ton of money on the other side. So basically it is not offensive to call it 'The Lion King' meets Hamlet, but odd that TLK is a Hamlet movie (and a wee bit of Othello). The Panther mus claim the kingdom after the death of his Father, but a cousin from the past comes to claim the throne for his own. It had everyone going "Wakanda forever!" in malls, and played for an amazing several months, actually butting up with 'Avengers Infinity War', its own sequel, in May! Fantasy place Wakanda seems a kind of super advanced Congo. No Oscar bait here, but a lot of fun.
"Annihilation"
A space rock crashes into New England beach area causing a bizarre fractal world to break into the universe, so a team of people are sent in, and don't come out, causing them to send in another. This bizarre little scifi horror movie is actually awesome, but disappeared quickly because of bad timing. It had the feel of big ideas, and discovery, and had mutations run amok as a theme. The idea of an alien 'invasion' where the creature just wants to 'exist' is interesting. Just so happens, his arrival is destroying the area. Worth a blu ray release buy.
See my reviews on WeirdKitty07 on YouTube.
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