Review: "A Good Day To Die Hard" is super loud and five times as dumb

"A Good Day To Die Hard" R
     John McClane (Bruce Willis) goes to Russia in this 'incredibly loud and unspeakably morose' sequel to the everlasting Die Hard franchise. He's on vacation and out to bust his son out of jail, who happens to also be a John, and also is some kind of cop. In this case he's a covert CIA person. The daughter has cameo in the beginning. The odd thing is, when did he have kids? Well his going to Russia makes about as much sense. The Russian names are hard to follow. One of them is a prisoner who wants to get out so he can be reunited with his daughter, and a secret file which is located at Chernobyl, the city where they had a nuclear meltdown in the late 1980s. The problem is there is another faction of bad dudes from sime kind of mafia that work for the Russian guy's ex partner, who is now a political hotshot. The politician plots to assassinate his old comrade at the court trial, but a third party appears using an armored truck, similar to the scene and the explosion at the court gag in Skyfall actually, but they used a tank like rig. Then there is McClane who by chance happens to be near the courthouse, and he gets back together with his son, (who we've never met, have we)? and the Russian dude with the beard he is protecting ruins their cover operation. A double cross happens involving the daughter being a double anget, which you see a mile away because of not only the music but Willis cracking lines about it not smelling right. Actually the Russian's daughter is a triple agent who is actually running the syndicate that is out to bag the politician also, and they're after the top secret stuff at Chernobyl, which they find and all, with both McClanes on their tail.
     The trailer gives away significant details about the battles and CG explosions and all in the movie, including the ending.
     The gangsters break into the nuclear vault and use radiation suits, but McClane and his son walk into the city in their regular clothes, where the radiation would instantly make it unable for the son to ever have any kids himself, and would give both some form of lymphoma. Not only that, the bad guys have a device that somehow magically removes the radiation from the room or vault they walk into in order to steal some plutonium or uranium (they keep mixing these terms, as it would be plutonium, and just touching it would give them severe radiation burns) but sicne they removed their suits after the trick, they're okay. One audience member wondered if they used a lead spray! Ha. No, that would screw them too. Now the McClane men are not wearing suits at all. At the end of this movie they should have had them both in a hospital covered in radiation sores with the dude with hair losing patches of his, not from male pattern baldness, but from all that near lethal radiation.
     Then again, a few years ago Indiana Jones survived a nuclear blast inside a flying fridge thatr got chucked a mile in the sky.
     Another nod to Indy occurs in that it's father and son, bickering and having moments, featured in both Indy 3 and 4.
     Willis is nearly 60. He has to stop doing these movies. Really. That's why they brought in the new guy. But the new actor doesn't have the same charisma as he does, so it will not happen in part 6.
Review by Adam Browne

Addendum: http://diehard.wikia.com/wiki/John_McClane,_Jr.

According to this wiki, the character of Jack was seen in the first film as a little boy, but this assumes he isn't McClane but carries his mother's name. Still one would think that having the obvious name McClane, or that of the secondary mother character, Gennero, in that universe would make him a terrible choice for a spy for the CIA. Everyone would know him.