Machete R
Robert Rodriquez cribs the words of
Malcolm X, 'We didn't land on Plymouth rock, Plymouth rock landed on us' as,
'we didn't cross the border, the border crossed us' in this Grindhouse fake
trailer turned epic splatter flick. With an all star cast including the so bad
and ugly he's awesome Danny Trejo (Desperado, Spy Kids), playing the title
role, Machete, an ex cop for Mexico, to the evil drug kingpin, a snickering
evil Steven Seagal, as Torrez, to Robert DeNiro, Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan
and Rodriquez's daughter as a badass also. Machete is framed by Torrez and must
escape to America, to Texas, where he befriends a sexy underground coyote girl,
and gets mixed up in the assassination attempt on a senator. Attempting to
clear his name, he enlists several characters, including Cheech Marin (yeah
that stoner guy), and a horny video hound, Lohan (playing really...herself),
but he gets into trouble with splattering murderous consequences! Don't mess
with the wrong Mexican. Machete is pretty darned good for being a vehicle to
sell slaughter effects, and how could one not like a weed whacker used as a
weapon, or a hedge trimmer? Lol. This is one of those over the top movies
Tarantino tries to make, but Rodriquez succeeds with. Review by Adam Browne
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