Battlefield Earth PG 13
Scientology guru L Ron Hubbard started out with this dreck. His books were hideous hack meat, but for some reason, he was popular, and he started a religion, er cult, after that. This is one of his books made into a John Travolta movie, where he plays an alien called Turl, a Psychlo (sounds like psycho), on a captured Earth in 3000. (In the book it was 2000, because it was done in the 70s). Turl is a mean alien, but for some reason he decides to do something incredibly stupid. He knows if the slave humans are made smart, it will be trouble, so he does it anyway. He educates a bunch of primitive humans in geometry and physics, (using a Scientology like mind device) and they start using sophisticated fighter jets that shouldn't have any gas left in them. And then something unintentionally funny happens to their methane rich planet. Ha! Okay, just assume it is 3000, unlike the book, nothing with gas would work. No planes. Assume also nukes would have corroded long ago. No story. It would have not made sense to set in in 2000, (when that stuff works), but then again, it doesn't make any sense. This movie is revoltingly bad. It's not even so bad it's good. The Psychlos are about as scary and cool as going to watch plants grow on a hydroponics shelf, or trying to decipher what anyone was thinking green lighting this horrid movie. Not just the worst science fiction movie of 2000, or of this decade, but probably since the book came out! Wow. "Take them and see how they like it!" hahahaha! Dialogue was not even dialogue in this movie. Review by Adam Browne
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