Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III PG
The Turtle Teens travel in time, in a strange Back to the Future meet Shogun riff in this weakest of the three original flicks. Weak fights, lame jokes and pop culture references, and no real charm or magic, make for a mockery of even the hit cartoon. Following a weir plot involving mysterious ancient drawings, the Turtles somehow get a hole of a time machine ‘egg timer scepter’ and journey back to feudal Japan where they’re mistaken for magical demon spirits and must get a way back home. Sounds stupid and is actually worse than it sounds. Updated. Recently watched it again. Stewart Gillard's hammy send up to the Turtles, with new costumes and no real threat in the present day, puts the green teens in a strange mockery of the ancient past of Japan. It is actually not as bad as some of the other low rent sequels to movies since, and after about 20 years, (it's now 2013), there are worse ways to blow 90 minutes. Still, April is again played by the new girl, the forgettable Brit villain is ridiculous and the evil castle lord literally twirls his mustache. The move does bring up a valid point, suppose the enemy has guns, but then it can't go there because it's a children's movie. The redeeming grace, no Vanilla Ice this time. It quite literally rips off Back to the Future III by having it be back in some sort of old west setting, (but it's Japan's version), and using a set from a Japanese movie at the time they got cheap. What is it with the spots on the turtle outfits? Casey is wasted just baby sitting the out of time samurai men. Some of the turtles befriend a village and help fight a war. All ends well. Still the studio could have done a whole lot better. By 1991 they had nearly 5 years of cartoon stories they could have lifted a movie from. Dimension X would have been more interesting. A live action Krang would have been awesome. Too bad they didn't go there.
Review by Adam Browne
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