No Country for Old Men R
Javier Boredom and the violent ridiculous crime movie....nah, it's time for my long awaited review of the 2007 Oscar movie! No Country For Old Men is lukewarm. Writer's strike in 2007 made it possible to hand out Oscars to boring artsy cowboy kitch. 'No Country' is another Coen Bros. saga, a dark western about stolen loot and drugs in a truck after a gunfight, a Vietnam vet who finds it and plays hide and seek with the killer, and Tommy Lee Jones mugging for the camera to outdo Javier Bordam's bad guy. It was what I expected although after 2 hours of it I seriously sat baffled as to why the Academy even gave this thing a nod. Was it just because it had a lot of freaking talking? A lot of talking and talking. Not much happening. Then someone gets a gory death every so often so they can call this crap a cool gory western. Ah, no. Just show me the clips of the gore effects on YouTube so I don't need to watch it ever again. Considering the whole film was really pretentious and mean spirited, I expected it to end badly, and it wasn't as bad as I heard, but the whole movie was really bad up till then. This tripe should have been called 'No Music for Boring Long winded Snorefest with Javier Bordam in it', but then maybe it wouldn't have received an Oscar. Holy cow. the entire movie is filmed without a soundtrack while a bunch of actors stumble about the Texas desert looking for a ridiculously handsome bad guy who is after a sachel of 2 million bucks and a stash of heroine. Half the time the sachel's contents switch to 1 million bucks. and back The drugs disappear at one point and there was enough to get another million or so. Ooh, and Xavier whispers evilly a lot and mugs for the camera because if he does it enough he might extrude 'badguy' more. his indestructible bad guy who literally gets away with gunning down a dozen people is just laughable, and it would be funny if it wasn't so frakking somber and brooding. Xavier is a wannabe Antonia Bandaras for sure. That guy was way cooler as a bad dude. I was not impressed. I'll give it half a rating for being at times somewhat entertaining, but it's on a par with 'Crash' and 'Slumdog' for brutality, but still do I want to be hit with that for 2 hours? I'd rather be assaulted in an alley by giant robot versions of Teddy Ruxspin frankly. This is just vapid at times. Bletch.
Review by Adam Browne
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